


When You Become What I Told You Not To

by Africana123



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:42:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23259364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Africana123/pseuds/Africana123
Summary: When Bellamy, Echo, Gabriel, and Octavia open the anomaly Octavia isn't the only one that gets sucked in; Clarke vanishes too. She awakes in a place beyond time and space called The Now. At first she thinks Bellamy is with her, but it's not her Bellamy. Chained besides her in a dungeon is a Bellamy from a different dimension, a Bellamy that stayed behind in Praimfaya to be with his Clarke, only for his Clarke to die. Together they must survive the horrors that await them while trying to get back to their own realities. Back in Sanctum Original Bellamy is trying everything he can to get Clarke and his sister back.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Comments: 39
Kudos: 155





	1. Where Do We Go From Here

It'd been three days since Clarke Griffin woke up in this hell hole chained next to not-Bellamy. Not-Bellamy looked almost exactly like her Bellamy. That's what made him so unsettling to her. He had Bellamy's hair, his intense eyes, his height, he even had Bellamy's facial expressions. But small things about him were just slightly _off_. 

This Bellamy was skinner than her's. He had scars that her Bellamy didn't. His wounds seeped black blood like her wounds. Most of all, he stared at Clarke with a mixed expression of worship and horror, like he was seeing a ghost. 

Everything about him put Clarke on edge. 

Maybe she had gone mad, Clarke thought to herself. Maybe her mind had finally broken into pieces. It would be fair, wouldn't it? After having Ali and Josephine and the flame in her head, maybe her mind was too damaged to save. Maybe she was having a breakdown and this was just what her mind had conjured up for her to live in. It made sense, at least to Clarke, that if this was all a grand delusion that her mind would choose to imagine her in a holding cell chained next to not-quite Bellamy. She'd spent so much of her life in one form of a prison or another, that maybe this felt comforting to her. And Bellamy - well Bellamy was _everything_. It made sense for him to be here too. 

But even as Clarke thought of this possibility she dismissed it. Why would she conjure up this Not-Bellamy and not her own? And everything felt too realistic to just be a fantasy. The rocks stabbing into her legs felt too real to be imagined. The wounds coating her back from where she had been dragged into this room stung too much to be an added on detail. This was real. 

"Am I dead?" for the first time in three days, Not-Bellamy spoke. 

Clarke just looked at him. 

"Am I dead?" he repeated. 

"How the hell am I suppose to know?" Clarke demanded, her temper flaring. She was cold and hungry and _chained_ to a fucking wall so excuse her if she didn't have the patience for stupid questions. 

Not-Bellamy continued to stare at her. "If you're here, then I must be dead. There's no other explanation." 

Clarke looked away, she didn't have time for this. She had to figure out how to escape. 

"How did I die?" Not-Bellamy asked. "The last thing I remember was this flare of light and then I was being dragged in here." 

Clarke's head jerked back to look at him. "You saw a flash of light too?" She demanded. 

Not-Bellamy nodded. 

That was the last thing Clarke remembered too. Bellamy, Echo, Gabriel, and Octavia had left for the anomaly a few hours before and she had been walking back to the tavern to see Madi and this blinding light flew over sanctum burning her eyes. She had felt this rush of wind all around her and when she could finally see again a group of men had surrounded her and dragged her kicking and screaming down a long hallway into this room with _him_.

"Is this hell?" Not-Bellamy asked, "After everything you and I've done have we been sent to hell?" 

"You're not dead!" Clarke snapped, "And this isn't hell. We're in some sort of prison." 

Not-Bellamy shook his head. "That doesn't make sense. _You're_ dead. How could you be here if I'm not dead." 

Clarke was opening her mouth to demand to know what it was he was talking about when the door to the cell opened for the first time in days. Standing in the doorway was a tall thin woman with some sort of spear-like weapon, except where the tip should be a small crackling ball of energy hovered in between three prongs. From Clarke's best guess she figure it had to act like some sort of taser. 

"Stand up." The woman commanded. 

Clarke and Not-Bellamy traded a glance. Even though he wasn't _her_ Bellamy, she could still read his facial expressions. They both knew that whatever this was, it was trouble. 

"Stand up!" The woman commanded again. 

Reluctantly, both Not-Bellamy and Clarke did. The woman strode closer and, keeping her spear pointed at them, uncuffed them from the wall. 

"The General wishes to see you now," the woman said as way of explanation. 

Clarke and Not-Bellamy exchanged another look and, at threat of spear, slowly walked through the doorway. After sitting in a dark room for three days their eyes took a second to adjust to the light of the hallway. Tears welled up in Clarke's eyes as she glanced around. Lining the hall on each side were rows upon rows of doors with names written on them. Clarke glanced behind her at the door of her own cell as the woman closed it behind her. Written in block letters on a erase board were the words "Clarke Griffin/Bellamy Blake". Ice ran through her veins. This wasn't random. Whoever had taken her had specifically wanted her. She glanced at Not-Bellamy and saw him realizing the same thing. They both traded a sizing-up look. Not-Bellamy, it seems, had finally realized this was real and was trying to figure out if he could trust her. She was doing the same to him. 

The woman jabbed the spear into the small of Clarke's back causing a burst of electricity to shoot into Clarke's body, forcing Clarke to scream. Clarke stumbled forward and was about to fall onto her face when Not-Bellamy caught her in his arms and pulled her closer into his side away from the weapon. He shot the woman a dirty look but she just gestured down the hall with her chin. 

"Keep moving," the woman demanded. 

Aware of how disadvantaged they were, they complied. Clarke glanced over her shoulder just in time to see the woman erase their names off the door. Clarke swallowed. For better or worse, they wouldn't be returning to their cell. 

Clarke and Not-Bellamy walked down the never ending hallway, taking more twist and turns than they could keep track of. Whoever had designed this place had done a good job, escaping would be next to impossible without a map. 

Finally the hallway started to change. As they got further away from their cell the rooms started to widen and get more ornate. Instead of the blank grey walls near their cell, these halls were lined with wine colored carpets and artwork. It reminded Clarke a little too much of Mount Weather. 

Next to her she heard Not-Bellamy mutter, "It's the fucking mountain all over again." 

Clarke sensed they were getting close as the scenery kept getting fancier and fancier. The stone walls were replaced with huge arch-way windows and light - natural light - flooded in. For the first time, Clarke realized that she had been underground. Clarke threw a passing glance out the window as she walked by and almost froze in her tracks. Outside the sky - the sky was purple! She didn't have time to see anything else as the woman hurried them along, but Clarke began to panic. Wherever she was, she wasn't on Sanctum anymore. 

Finally, they arrived at a set of great, big doors carved with pictures of animals. Some Clarke recognized and some Clarke didn't. Next to her, Not-Bellamy grabbed her hand and squeezed. She was scared enough that she let him. 

"Go in," the woman commanded. 

Glancing at each other, Clarke and Not-Bellamy slowly moved forward. Not-Bellamy's hand hovered over the door before pushing it open. It creaked as it swung. Together, they stepped into the room and stared around in awe. Plants the color of the ocean grew up the walls and had white berried hanging from their vine. Above them a huge skylight showed off the lilac sky. Beneath them was a carpet wove of gold thread that glittered in the light. 

They suddenly heard a throat clear and their heads snapped forward. Sitting behind a desk in an oversized chair that almost resembled a throne was a middle-aged man with graying blond hair and light blue eyes. His hands were weighed down by the jewel rings he wore and he was dressed in a velvet suit. His face had laughing lines haloing his eyes giving him the perpetual air of happiness. Flanking him were two beefy guards holding the same spear as the woman who had guided them here. 

The man peered at them with a pleased expression and didn't say anything for the longest moment until finally, "Clarke - Bellamy, welcome. I've been expecting you."


	2. I'll explain Everything

"Who the hell are you!? Why did you bring us here?" Not-Bellamy snarled at the man who must be The General. 

Clarke almost did a double-take seeing Bellamy react like that. Her Bellamy had wised up on his time back on the ring; he would never be so openly hostile when he didn't know what was going on. But he isn't _your_ Bellamy, a voice whispered in the depths of Clarke's mind. 

Surprisingly, instead of looking offended or even annoyed, The General looked ... _pleased_? What was going on here, Clarke wondered not for the first time. 

"Ahhh, Bellamy Blake of dimension Z-83, what a pleasure it is to finally meet you. I've been watching your progress for a very, _very_ long time," The General said, leaning back in his throne. He turned to look at one of the guards flanking his side, "Haven't I always said that Bellamy Z-83 was the one to keep your eye on?" 

The guard didn't answer, just gave a tense nod. 

Not-Bellamy, if it was possible, got even more agitated and took a threatening step forward causing the guards to point their spears at him. Clarke, sensing that things were about to go very, very wrong grabbed Not-Bellamy's wrist and tugged him back to her side. 

Giving an apologetic smile, she asked, "I'm sorry, but who are you? What do you want with us?" 

The General just smiled wider. "Clarke Griffin Z-39. Now, you were a surprise!" He turned to the other guard and continued speaking, "My jaw just about hit the floor when she was chosen, didn't it?" 

"Yes, sir," the guard agreed, still keeping his weapon pointed at Bellamy. 

For the first time The General noticed the weapons and frowned. "Put those down! You're going to make them think they're prisoners or something!" He turned back to Clarke, "You're not prisoners. Well ... not in the traditional sense. You're ... guest. Yes! That's it. You're guests!"

"If we're guests then why were we kept in a holding cell for _three_ fucking days?" Not-Bellamy spat out. 

The General chuckled to himself, "Well, one of you did help burn down the remains of your world," he threw a knowing look at Clarke who, in turn, felt shame burn deep in her belly. Besides her Not-Bellamy looked confused. "And, the other," The General continued, "has a history of slaughtering armies sent to protect them." It was Not-Bellamy's turn to look away in discomfort. "So, I hope you understand the precautions we took. I find the transition goes much smoother with an adjustment period to cool down." 

Clarke and Not-Bellamy didn't say anything so The General continued. 

"I understand how frightening this must be. Why, when I first found myself here I almost went half mad trying to find a way to escape." The General smiled a self-deprecating smile and shook his head at himself. 

"Almost went half mad?" Clarke asked. 

The General smiled, "Such a clever girl, Clarke. Yes, I _almost_ went half mad, but then my purpose revealed itself to me and I was reborn. I've been working towards it ever since and with your help, well let's say the great unification is almost in our grasp." 

Clarke and Not-Bellamy exchanged a look. Neither liked the sound of "the great unification", whatever that was. 

"What do you want with us?" Clarke demanded, finally dropping the act of civility she had been keeping up. 

The General laughed, "I'm glad you asked, but that is quite a loaded question. To understand your part in the bigger picture you first have to see the picture, now don't you?" 

The General stood up from his desk and walked around it towards them. He was somewhere in between Clarke's height and Not-Bellamy's height. It was funny. He took up so much mental space that when he was sitting Clarke had assumed he was taller than both of them. The General paused in front of them and gestured with one hand at the door. 

"Come, let me show you your new home." 

Clarke and Not-Bellamy exchanged another look and slowly let themselves be lead out the door. Instead of going the way they had come they were lead in a new direction towards an archway that opened up to the outside. Both paused in their tracks when they saw what this world looked like. Rolling out in the distance were great floating islands connected by rope bridges. Each floating island looked different. Some had pink rain clouds storming above them. Others resembled desert islands. The one they stood on now seemed centered to all of them and was just a rocky stone mass with weeds poking up. It was barely big enough to hold the fort they had just came out of. Beneath every island though was empty space and far below was a swirling green vapor that Clarke recognized as the anomaly. 

"Where are we?" Not-Bellamy breathed out staring around himself in awe. 

The General laughed, " _This_ is The Now. Beautiful isn't it?" 

Clarke, despite herself, had to agree. Birds like she'd never seen, some with iridescent wings, flew from island to island shrieking as they did so. Some islands had tumbling waterfalls falling off their sides where they'd fall onto a lower island before falling off into the anomaly where they'd be sucked up and appear again above the original island to repeat the process over again. Some islands had trees in colors trees shouldn't be like red or yellow or even blue. Clarke looked above them for the sun but there was no sun or moon or stars or anything but hundreds of what could only be described as tears in the sky where glimpses of other universes appeared. Every now and then, _things_ would fall through these tears and tumble down onto one island or another or miss the islands all together and fall into the anomaly only to appear back at the top and keep falling over and over again. Light seeped through these tears and lit up The Now. 

It was nothing like Clarke had ever seen before. 

"What is this place?" Clarke demanded turning back to The General. 

"The Now is the universe at the center of all universes," The General explained, though neither Clarke or Not-Bellamy understood. The General sighed and turned to look at them. "Imagine a stack of thin papers, okay?" 

Clarke and Not-Bellamy nodded. 

"Now imagine someone poured ink onto the very center page. The ink spreads and is absorbed by the pages on either side and the pages on either side of those pages absorbs some ink and so on and so on it goes until the ink runs out or every page has at least a little bit of ink on it, understand?" 

Clarke and Not-Bellamy nodded. 

The General smiled, "You pick things up fast, don't you? Well this place is the very center page of all those pages. The ink is the anomaly. The anomaly originates from this place and spreads from this universe to every other universe there is." 

Not-Bellamy started to grow frustrated. "What the fuck is the anomaly?" 

The General blinked at him before gasping and nodding to himself. "Ahh, I forget. _You_ stayed on Earth and have never seen Sanctum so you wouldn't know about the anomaly yet, would you? The anomaly is the physical manifestation of where time and space conjoin into one." 

" _That's_ what the anomaly is?" Clarke gasped. 

The General nodded. "Now stop asking questions, you have much to learn and if you keep asking then we won't ever get through this introduction." 

Clarke and Not-Bellamy traded a look but both stayed quiet so The General continued. 

"Are you aware of the multiverse theory?" The General asked. 

Not-Bellamy nodded but Clarke shook her head so The General explained. 

"To simplify it, the multiverse theory is the theory that every possible outcome of every possible action is happening in an alternative universe. As this is the place where every universe is connected by the fabric of time and space, we get the advantage of seeing all those universes when we choose to and sometimes, when it helps the cause of the great unification, we pluck certain individuals from certain universes that might be of help to us." The General, if it was possible, looked even more pleased than he was before. 

Clarke and Not-Bellamy stared at each other as they started to connect the dots. That's why Not-Bellamy was so similar, yet different than her Bellamy, Clarke thought. 

"Yes," The General continued, "you're from different dimensions, though your universe differences is only removed by a fraction of a percentage compared to other universes." 

"What?" Not-Bellamy asked, frustration seeping into his tone. 

The General just continued smiling as he explained. "That means that your universes are almost identical. They're relatively similar to one another, with the only major difference being a single choice." 

"What?" Clarke asked. 

The General sighed but kept explaining. "Your universes were once one universe, but split off relatively late when in one universe one Bellamy made choice A and in the other universe another Bellamy made choice B." 

Clarke just stared at The General but Not-Bellamy spoke up. "What choice did I make?" 

The General smiled, "In universe Z-39, Clarke's universe, her Bellamy made the choice to leave her behind during praimfaya and flee to the ring on the rocket. In your universe, Bellamy Z-83, you choose to stay behind to wait for your Clarke, allowing the rocket to leave without either of you."

Not-Bellamy scoffed, "I would never, in _any_ universe, choose to leave Clarke behind. You're lying." 

The General raised an eyebrow and turned to Clarke. "Clarke, would you like to tell Bellamy what happened." 

Clarke was silent and just stared at the ground. 

"Clarke?" Not-Bellamy asked, uncertainty creeping into his tone. 

Finally, Clarke looked up. "You - well, I guess not you, but _my_ Bellamy - well, he choose to leave me behind to save the others." 

Not-Bellamy just stared at her in horror. "No," he said, "No! I didn't choose that. There was _no_ choice! You didn't come back in time so I stayed behind. I would never leave you!" 

Clarke felt embarrassed, like something was wrong with her if she was the only Clarke that Bellamy wouldn't choose to save. "I don't know what you want me to say," she finally muttered, "It happened. I lived through it. It is what it is." 

Not-Bellamy stared at her with a heartbroken look on his face. "Clarke - I'm so, so sorry for what I did. I - I can't believe I - any of me - would do that to you." 

Clarke just shrugged and looked away. 

They were all quiet for the longest time then The General broke the silence. "You two ... because of the choices you've made, of the people you chose to become, are the most Clarke and most Bellamy of all the Bellamys and all the Clarkes. You were chosen to help all of us." 

Clarke and Not-Bellamy just stared at him resigned to whatever new hell they were forced to live through. 

"What do you want with us? Why did you bring us here?" Clarke asked, exhaustion coloring her tone. She was _so_ , so tired of this, of everything. When could she just rest? 

The General turned away from them and looked out at The Now. 

"The Now is a place beyond the furthest reaches of time. When you are here time will not pass. You will not age or fall prey to disease. If you eat and drink and take care of yourself - if you don't get killed, that is - you will not die." Clarke and Not-Bellamy's eyes widen at this information, but The General kept speaking. "When I first fell through the anomaly - in my universe we called it the doorway - I was scared. I was the first to find The Now, no one else was here. My world was at war with itself. We were on the brink of being destroyed. I spent years - decades, in fact - trying to get back to my reality without success. I watched the doorways as universe after universe after universe fell to ruin. Some - like yours - bombed each other out of existence. Some fell to man-made disease. Others famine. But there was one planet, though, in one universe - one singular planet in a multiverse of chaos - that found peace. Peace without sacrifice, peace through sharing, peace through _unification_." The General had a far off look in his eyes, like he was remembering a time far gone. He was quiet for the longest moment before he finally turned back to Clarke and Not-Bellamy. "Finally, after centuries, I figured out how to direct the anomaly. I could control where the doorways opened. I was able to go home. But do you know what I found when I got there?" 

Clarke and Not-Bellamy shared a look and both slowly shook their head. 

A shadow fell over The General's face. "When I was finally back on my own planet, in my own universe barely days had passed. Only days. But the war was over. Hours after I had gone, one nation or another had dropped a bomb so the other nations retaliated and started dropping bombs. It went like that until nothing - no one was left. It was a smoldering wasteland when I returned. I saw then, _my_ purpose. What I had been put in this life to do. Why I alone had survived. My suffering hadn't been for nothing. My suffering had been in service of a greater good. _I_ was supposed to unite the universes. I was suppose to unify us all." 

Clarke swallowed, fear clawing up her throat but she asked her question anyway. "How?" 

The General smiled. "A war to end all wars." He looked up towards the tears in the sky at the glimpses of universes poking through. "I've spent countless years gathering individuals from all the universes with human life still in them. I've created an unbeatable army. Together we will conquer _every_ last universe. Every world, every country, every civilization, every last outpost of mankind and unify them all. There will be no war, no fighting, just harmony. Just _peace_." He turned back to look at them with a small smile on his face. "And you two will help lead my armies. You will help unify us all." 

Not-Bellamy's mouth opened and closed several times before he finally found the words he was looking for. "And if we refused?" 

The General just chuckled. "Nothing bad, Bellamy. Like I said, you're not prisoners. I'll put you back in your own realities and then move ahead with the homecoming-" 

"Homecoming?" Clarke interrupted. 

The General waved her off. "We use it instead of the word 'invasion' since, after all, soon everywhere will be our home." 

Clarke scowled. "Wouldn't you be scared of us warning our people? Why would you let us go after we found out your plan." 

The General just smiled, "Like I said, my army is unbeatable. Even with your warning, we would still win. Besides, one of you is among the only living humans above ground at the moment," The General said gesturing to Not-Bellamy. Clarke looked at him in confusion but decided that would be a question for later. "And the other," The General continued looking at Clarke, "is on a foreign planet that she just helped destabilize. Do you really think your worlds are any match for me?" 

Neither answered. 

The General smiled, "Besides, you'd be helping bring about paradise. It'd be a better world for both your daughters. So, what do you say?" 

Clarke and Not-Bellamy were silent for the longest time before slowly they nodded. They were survivors after all. 

The General clapped his hands. "Good!" He turned to the guards that we hovering by the entrance way to the fort. "Show them to the barracks and have them ready to transport by morning." He turned back to look at them, a wide smile spread across his face. "Welcome to the winning side."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So idk how this is going. I'm thinking of dropping it since I don't usually do sci fi. If you like it tell me and I'll try to keep writing it.


	3. Homecoming

Clarke and Not-Bellamy were lead by a guard over countless islands until they finally reached a frozen glacier of one near the very outer reaches of The Now. It was the biggest they'd seen thus far about double size of the valley with nothing growing on it and a fog rolling out in every direction making it almost impossible to navigate without the light emanating from the guard's spear's tip. 

"Why are we here?" Clarke asked the guard, breaking the silence for the first time since The General had dropped his bombshell. 

The guard just glanced at her without saying anything and kept walking. 

Clarke shivered as she trailed behind. The double suns of Sanctum meant that the weather stayed above 80 degrees at all times meaning she wasn't wearing a coat when she was abducted and thus wasn't prepared for this wasteland in the slightest. Not-Bellamy noticed her rub her hands together and quickly took off the big leather coat he was wearing and wordlessly handed it to her. After a second of hesitation, Clarke took it. 

Finally after walking for another half an hour in the biting cold they arrived at some sort of compound. There were about three dozen buildings built in a cluster around one bigger building. 

"That's the mess hall," the guard finally said pointing at the center building. "Those are the barracks," he said, pointing at the smaller buildings, "you'll stay there until morning when you'll be shipped out to meet your troops." 

Clarke and Not-Bellamy didn't say anything so the guard continued. 

"If I was you, I'd get some sleep. This is your last night of rest until the great unification is realized." 

"Who exactly are we fighting against?" Not-Bellamy asked glaring at the guard suspiciously. Clarke had to admit, she had been wondering the exact same thing. 

"Dissidents," the guard answered, glaring right back. "People hellbent on allowing the universes to remain in chaos." 

"And who is that _exactly_?" Clarke pipped up. 

The guard didn't answer just pointed his spear at one of the smaller buildings. "That's where you'll be staying. Go." 

Clarke and Not-Bellamy traded a look and slowly walked away from the guard. When they looked back he was already retreating into the fog back the way they'd come. They entered the cabin he'd pointed to and looked around. They were only two threadbare bed rolls laying on the floor shoved against the wall, a stack of covers, and a small basket that Clarke sincerely hoped contained food. There wasn't even a fireplace to help warm up the room and the room was freezing as a result. 

"We've stayed in worse, haven't we princess?" Not-Bellamy joked. 

Clarke jerked her head towards him as soon as she heard _that_ name come out of his mouth. 

Not-Bellamy noticed the look on her face and nervously shifted foot from foot. "What? What did I say?" 

Clarke quickly shook her head and turned away. "Nothing, it's nothing." 

It was just ... _her_ Bellamy hadn't called her princess in years. 

Not-Bellamy continued to stare at her back for a few seconds longer before he too turned away and, walking over to the wall, started setting up the bedrolls. His breath showed up in the cold room with every exhale. 

"What . . ." Not-Bellamy paused as he looked for the right words, "what did The General mean when he said we could make a safer world for _both_ our daughters?" 

Clarke froze from where she had been studying the contents of the basket - it _had_ contained food, just some dried fruit and crackers, but it was better than nothing. 

She heard Not-Bellamy stand up and walk towards her before she felt his had softly grip her bicep to turn her around. 

"Clarke?" Not- Bellamy asked softly, "Are you - are you a mom?" 

Clarke had been resolutely trying to not remember Madi since she'd been here. If she allowed herself to think too hard about her daughter and everything that Madi must be going through while Clarke was _here_ she'd start screaming and might never stop. 

Finally, meeting his eyes, Clarke answered, "Yeah, I am. I have a daughter." 

Not-Bellamy smiled gently, "That's amazing, Clarke. I always thought you'd make an amazing mom." 

For some reason that almost caused Clarke to start crying and she quickly pulled away. Turning back to the basket she said over her shoulder. "I take it you also have a daughter?" 

Not-Bellamy shuffled behind her but answered. "Yeah, I do. She's not biologically mine but ... well, she's my kid. I couldn't love her anymore than if she was genetically mine, you know?" 

Clarke chuckled to herself and nodded turning around, "Yeah, I do. I know exactly what you mean. Mine's adopted as well." 

Not-Bellamy threw her a crooked smile. "No kidding? What's her name?" 

"Madi." 

Not-Bellamy just blinked at her for the longest moment with the strangest expression on his face. "You're joking?" 

A sudden shot of indignity hit Clarke. _She_ thought Madi was a beautiful name, excuse her. "It's not like I chose it! She came with it when I found her." 

Not-Bellamy continued to stare at her with an unreadable expression. "You found her in a valley, didn't you?" 

It was Clarke's turn to freeze and stare back at him before slowly nodding. 

"The last green spot there was," she whispered trying to figure out how he knew that. 

"And she was almost feral when you found her, wasn't she?" 

"How - how do you know that?" 

Not-Bellamy ran a hand through his hair and chuckled low in his throat, "I don't - I don't know how it's possible but ... I think we have the same daughter." 

Clarke just blinked. "What?" 

"I found Madi - _my_ Madi - a few months after praimfaya in this valley that had somehow survived." 

Clarke's eyes widened. "You're - you're kidding?" 

Not-Bellamy shook his head. "Serious as the dead." 

Clarke leaned back against the wall as she tried to wrap her head around this. They were raising different versions of the same kid? How was that even possible? How entwined were their lives? 

"This is fucking with my head," Clarke admitted after a second. 

Not-Bellamy chuckled, "Yeah, you could say that again. I still keep thinking that I must've hit my head or something and this is all just a fever dream." 

Clarke smiled. "It's just . . . you're so much like Bellamy-" 

"I _am_ Bellamy," Not-Bellamy interrupted her. 

"You know what I mean. You're so much like _my_ Bellamy that it's throwing me for a loop, except there's just these small things about you that are just off. And now I found out you're raising my kid? It's like the fucking twilight zone or something." 

"The twilight zone?" 

Clarke waved the question off, "It was a show I used to watch with Wells when we were kids." 

Bellamy nodded and didn't say anything for a while and after a second he went back to setting up the bed rolls and Clarke went back to unpacking the food. Ten minutes later they were sitting on their respective beds and eating together. 

"What things?" Not-Bellamy finally asked, breaking the silence. 

Clarke just raised an eyebrow in question. 

"What things about me and your Bellamy are different?" 

Clarke blinked and opened her mouth but didn't say anything. It was a hard question. 

"I guess, I'm not really sure," she admitted. 

Not-Bellamy just gave her a puzzled look. 

Clarke sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "Bellamy - _my_ Bellamy - he left me behind and he didn't come back for _six_ years and when he did ... well things had changed. _I_ had changed. And so had he. He'd grown as a person, he lived an entire life without me. I didn't know him like I used to ... I still don't, if I'm being honest." 

Not-Bellamy shifted a little closer to her. "But I - he - us - whoever this other Bellamy is, must have been so excited to see you again after all those years. He must have spent the years counting down the day till you were reunited. It must've felt like he was missing a limb without you." Clarke gave him a strange look and Bellamy quickly went on to explain. "You were partners after all ... maybe even more?" 

Clarke shook her head and looked down at the floor. "No, he didn't. He - he thought I was dead for all those years. He moved on. He's - well he's actually with Echo now. He has a new family, new people he trusts and leans on."

"Echo? _Echo_? He's with _Echo_? That's impossible! I was never attracted to her!" 

Clarke just smiled a little sadly. "I guess that's one way you two are different then." 

Not-Bellamy didn't say anything and just puzzled over the new information with a grimace on his face. "Huh. That's so freaky. What other ways?" 

Clarke shook her head as she thought. "Ummm ... well, he got really good at fighting. Apparently Echo taught him. He's softer, less muscular than you are. He's less tan from being inside all those years without the sun. He's ... calmer than you. He matured on the ring. He stopped being so hotheaded, he started using his head. He started putting the greater good over the individual." 

"There _is_ no greater good without the individual," Not-Bellamy protested. 

Clarke just shrugged and laughed bitterly. "Yeah, well he still thinks that way with people he considers his family." 

Not-Bellamy studied her for a minute with his tilted. "And ... that's not you?" 

Clarke glanced up at him and noticed his eyes boring into her own. She felt trapped, like she used to when _her_ Bellamy looked at her, before he left her behind, before they both betrayed each other too many times to ever be what they once were. 

"We're," Clarke began, before wetting her lips to think, "we're still family, but I'm not as important to him - if I ever was - as I once was." 

"In what way?" Not-Bellamy pushed, like he was trying to understand a mystery that he was close to solving. 

Clarke hesitated. This was already a lot to tell someone who was basically a stranger to her, even if he did look like someone she once loved with all her heart. 

"You can trust me," Not-Bellamy said, reaching out to grab her hand, "Honestly, I think I might be the only other person who could understand what you've been through." 

Clarke hesitated a second longer before shrugging. Fuck it, she thought, she was probably going to die anyway. "Once, I would have trusted him with my life. I would've trusted him to have my back without a second thought. And I still do!" Clarke rushed to add, "I still trust him, but ... there's hesitation now. I know that I'm not the most important person to him - or even one of the most important people to him. And that - well, that changes things." 

Not-Bellamy studied her for a few tense seconds before he finally spoke. "He did something, didn't he? Something to make you not trust him." 

Clarke looked away. "I probably deserved it," she muttered. 

Silence fell over the room and they sat together quietly for a few minutes before Clarke turned back to look at him. "So, tell me about your Clarke. What's she like? How did you two survive praimfaya?" 

It was Not-Bellamy's turn to look uncomfortable and turn away. 

" _We_ didn't." 

"What?" 

Not-Bellamy sighed and turned back to her, his jaw clenched like he was preparing for a blow. "Clarke - my Clarke - took her own life right before I found the valley." 

Clarke's eyes widened and her mouth dropped open. "What?" 

Not-Bellamy looked at the floor as he spoke. "It had been days without food or water. We had originally tried to get into the bunker but rubble collapsed on the doors forcing us to leave. From there we wandered trying to find food without much success. Everything - _everything_ was gone, reduced to sand. We drove the rover as far as we could but it died so we started walking. We walked till we collapsed from dehydration. I - I don't know what she was thinking. I - I didn't know she was even thinking of that but I woke up hearing her say "my fight is over" and then she just - she pulled the trigger and ..." he trailed off. 

Clarke stared at him in horror. "I - I'm so sorry that she - I - we did that to you." 

Not-Bellamy laughed and looked away. "It's not your fault. It's not like you did that or anything like that." 

Clarke hesitated but if they were sharing secrets she might as well go for broke. "I - I did actually." 

Not-Bellamy's brow wrinkled. "What?" 

Clarke hesitated but kept speaking. "It's exactly like you said except I was alone. I tried the bunker but I couldn't get in. I wandered for days alone without food and water before I collapsed. And when I woke up I knew I was going to die and I didn't want to suffer anymore so I pulled the gun out and I was going to pull the trigger, but at the last moment decided not to. I found the valley soon after that." 

Not-Bellamy stared at her for the longest moment before turning away. "In one universe Clarke made choice A and in another universe another Clarke made choice B." 

Clarke didn't say anything, just felt guilty. Maybe it was her fault that his Clarke was dead. Maybe if _she_ had decided to end her life, then his Clarke would have chosen differently and he wouldn't have had to see that. 

After a second Not-Bellamy spoke again. "I'm glad you didn't, though." 

Clarke looked at him questioningly. 

"If you had chose _that_ ... then your Madi would have been alone. I'm glad that you made the right decision. I'm glad you two had each other." 

Clarke was quiet for a long, tense moment before she reached out and grabbed his hand and squeezed. "I'm sorry that you had to live through that. I'm sorry she left you." 

Not-Bellamy smiled sadly at her. "You know, I used to be angry with her. I used to want to hate her for leaving me but I realized that I couldn't be angry with her for wanting to find a way out. I couldn't hate her, not when I loved her so much more. I was just ... I was just grateful for every single second of every single day that I got to be with her." 

"You loved her." Clarke didn't ask it as a question but Not-Bellamy answered all the same. 

"With all my heart." 

Clarke smiled at him. It was nice - in a painful sort of way - to know that somewhere, in some universe one Clarke was loved back by _her_ Bellamy. 

"Did you ... do you love your Bellamy?" Not-Bellamy finally asked. 

Clarke didn't need a moment to think before she answered. "Enough to die for." 

After that they moved on to safer topics. They talked about their Madis and what raising them had been like. They laughed at shared memories and marveled about how their Madis differed from one another. They talked about the valley and how peaceful it was and how much they wished they had been able to land in a place like that from the very beginning. Clarke found out that Not-Bellamy's people never came down from the ring and that he and Madi were still the only people above ground. Not-Bellamy found out that Clarke had helped destroy the valley she had called home for so long. They talked about Sanctum and what had happened there. Clarke admitted that she'd been thinking of him as "Not-Bellamy" to which he laughed and told her to just call him Bell to which she agreed. They fell asleep still holding hands, snuggled in their respective beds, knowing that when morning came everything would change. 

As Clarke fell asleep, though, she couldn't help but think that _this_ is what it should have been like when her Bellamy came home. _This_ was the Bellamy she remembered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I decided to continue but updates might be a little slow as I try to figure how to write outside my genre. Also sorry I've been awol so long from this site. I've been writing a book and posting it to wattpad so a lot of my writing time has gone there.


	4. A Whole New World

Clarke woke up entwined around Bell with her head resting on his chest and his arm curled around her shoulder. She blinked slowly trying to figure out what had happened when she glanced over at her bedroll and realized she must have crawled over to share his body heat at some point in the middle of the night. She carefully extracted herself from him and crawled back over to her bed but the movement must of woken him because he lifted his head and looked around before saying "Clarke?" sleepily. 

"Shhh, go back to bed. It's not morning yet." 

It _wasn't_ morning yet but that weird light darkness that happens right before the sun starts to creep above the horizon. Clarke settled down into her bed roll but it felt freezing after sharing Bell's body heat for most of the night. She shivered slightly in the cold room and curled into a tight ball hoping that would help warm her up. Some nights in the valley had gotten like this but she'd always had Madi or a fire to help keep her warm. She laid shivering in her bed for about ten minutes before Bell spoke. 

"Are you cold?" 

Clarke shook her head but realized he wouldn't be able to see that in the dark room so she answered instead. "No, I'm fine." 

Bell was quiet for a beat then, "I can hear your teeth chattering. Just come back here." 

"I don't want to bother you." 

"Just come back here, I'm getting cold too." 

Clarke hesitated for a moment before sighing and crawling back the way she had just came. Bell was waiting with the cover lifted for her. She tried to leave some distance between them but Bell just threw an arm over her midriff and dragged her back towards him till she was snuggled into his side. 

"There, that's better," he whispered near her ear, his voice containing that scratchiness that was present in her Bellamy's tone. She shivered a little hearing him speak so close to her but Bell must've thought she was cold because he squeezed her tighter and started rubbing her legs to try to get her warm again. She squeaked when his hands moved a little higher. 

"Shhh," he whispered, "I got you." The scratchiness was still present in his voice. 

She tried not to think of that or about the feel of him plastered against her back or the way his hand was slowly moving up and down her thigh almost like a caress as he rested his head in the curve of her neck.

His hand trailed up her thigh to her hip before hesitating and slowly curling around her stomach. 

"You warm now?" Bell asked, his voice weirdly strained. 

Clarke nodded and after a beat said, "Yeah, thank you." 

He grunted in response but didn't say anything and they fell into silence. They laid there, next to each other for a bit, just enjoying the feeling of another living person breathing next to them after so long alone. They both knew too well what it was like to be alone.

"I missed this," Bell admitted after a moment. 

Clarke squinted in the darkness and tilted her head back so she could look at his face. She could barely make out the shape of his jawline in the dark room but she wanted to look at him. "Missed what?" 

"Your breathing." 

Clarke didn't know what to say to that so she just laid her head back down on his chest and listened to the steady thud of his heartbeat. 

After a second, she whispered into the dark like it was a secret, "I missed your breathing too. After praimfaya ... it was so quiet. I was alone for so long." 

"How didn't you go mad? I was only alone for about two months and I almost lost my mind." 

Clarke bit her lip as she debated whether or not to tell him. But hey, _her_ Bellamy knew, why shouldn't this one? "I used to ... well, I used to talk to this radio." 

There was a long paused then, "A radio?" 

"From the rover, I fixed it - or at least I thought I fixed it - after praimfaya. I was hoping that they could hear it on the ring, so I talked to it everyday." 

"Did they ever answer?" 

Clarke shook her head. "No, turns out the damn thing was broken. They never got a single message." 

Bell shifted a little beneath her. "That must've been hard to find out." 

Clarke laughed to herself. "Not really. Honestly, I never truly thought it worked. I just - I just needed hope, even if it was false hope, you know?" 

Bell was quiet for the longest time then, "Yeah, I do know. I used to ... I used to go out to this clearing that overlooked the valley every morning and night and I ... well, I'd talk to you." 

Clarke frowned. "You'd talk to me?" 

Bell sighed in frustration, "Well, not _you_. I'd talk to _my_ Clarke, even though she was gone. I used to tell her what had happened throughout the day. I'd tell her about Madi and how she was growing up and how much Madi would've loved her. Mostly, I just told her how much I missed her and how much I wished she was there to see it all. She would've loved the valley." 

Clarke tilted her head back to look at Bell once again with a sad smile. "She would've loved it. It was everything they promised us Earth would be." 

At the same time Clarke looked up, Bell looked down and suddenly their faces were mere inches apart. Every time Bell exhaled, his breath would brush across Clarke's face. They were close enough to see every feature of one another's face, even in the dark. Bell's eyes kept darting down to sneak glances at Clarke's lips and Clarke was hit with the realization that she could, maybe, for once, kiss Bellamy or at least _a_ version of Bellamy. She was frozen with that realization when Bell turned away from her and cleared his throat. 

"We should go back to bed. Who knows what the morning has in store for us." 

Clarke blinked as she processed his words and quickly turned her head away even as disappointment flashed through her chest. "Yeah, you're probably right."

As Clarke drifted off to sleep with her head resting on Bellamy's chest she listened to the steady beat of his heart and wondered, not for the first time, what _her_ Bellamy was doing right now. 

### 

Three hours had passed since Bellamy watched his sister get stabbed then dissolve before his very eyes. He had frantically tried to reopen the anomaly but it remained shut, refusing to budge to his repeatedly more desperate attempts to break in. Hope - if it was Hope - still hadn't woken up and was thus useless in helping him try to get in. He originally tried repeating the sequence of symbols they had first used to open the anomaly but when that didn't work he started pounding against the stone in desperation.

"Bellamy," Echo said gently, reaching out to touch his shoulder, "we need to go." 

"No!" Bellamy snarled as he ripped his arm out of his girlfriend's grasp. "Not without Octavia." 

"Bellamy," Gabriel said from across the clearing, worry-lines creasing his face, "Echo's right. That light - whatever it was - didn't just stop here, it moved outwards. Who knows what else it did. We need to go." 

Bellamy didn't say anything for a long minute, just continued staring at the anomaly in worry. He rocked back and forth on his heels like he wanted to run forwards towards it and after his sister but he reminded himself to use his head, like Clarke had told him all those years ago. That's who he wished was here next to him. Clarke would know what to do. Clarke would think of a plan. 

Comforted by the fact that he could soon tell Clarke what happened and that she would magically fix this like she always did, he slowly nodded his head. "You're right. We need to get back to Sanctum." 

Echo smiled sadly at him, "We'll come back. I promise." 

Bellamy nodded and after staring at the anomaly for a second longer, turned around and marched pass Echo and towards the bike. 

"What do we do with her?" Gabriel asked gesturing his head towards Hope still unconscious on the ground. 

A younger Bellamy, a more impulsive Bellamy, would've said to leave her where she was, but Bellamy had matured, had grown as a person. So, taking a second to suppress his dark rage at the girl and the part she had played in what had happened to his sister, he said, "She's coming with us. She could be useful." 

Gabriel hesitated seeing the look on Bellamy's face but nodded all the same. 

Bellamy quickly started his bike and, not waiting for either Echo or Gabriel, took off towards Sanctum. He needed to talk to Clarke. 

Bellamy ignored Echo's calls to slow down and wait and resolutely headed back towards the compound, towards Clarke. She'd know what to do, he kept telling himself. That was the only thing holding him together right now. Clarke would know what to do. 

Soon, but not soon enough, Sanctum appeared before him. He barely slowed down enough to disable the radiation shield before he sped pass the fields and towards the town. He skidded to a stop in front of the tavern and quickly dismounted. He threw open the doors to the bar and, marching in, shouted, "Clarke!" like she'd magically appear because he needed her. 

"Bellamy?" a voice said from behind him in a corner of the room. 

Bellamy whirled around and, sitting at a table with his friends, was a nervous looking Madi. 

Bellamy marched up to them and slammed his hands down on the table. "Where's Clarke? Something happened out at the anomaly and we need her." 

Madi just stared at him in horror. "She's - she's not with you?" 

Bellamy just blinked. "Why would she be with me? Where is she?" 

Madi's eyes widen and she quickly stood up. "I haven't seen since we came down from the ship. I thought - I thought she had decided to go with you. She's not with you?" 

"No!" Bellamy snarled, frustration getting the better of his temper. " _Where is she_?" 

Madi flinched at his tone and Bellamy quickly suppressed his anger. He wasn't this person anymore. 

"Madi," he started again, "something awful has happened to my sister. I need Clarke." 

Madi shook her head, "I saw her talking to you before I was taken to medical and when I came back out there was this rolling flash of light. I haven't seen her since the clearing. I thought she was with you." 

Fear started to claw at Bellamy's belly. Something was wrong. "She's not with me. I haven't seen her since I left." 

For the first time, Raven spoke up. "Well, if she's not with you and she's not with us, then _where_ is she?" 

Bellamy didn't answer or wait to hear them answer. If his suspicions were right - and he thought they were - then Clarke was in a lot of trouble. He stormed out of the tavern and screamed "Clarke!" at the top of his lungs. No one answered. He hurriedly ran through the town, screaming her name the entire way, but she never answered. When he got to one end of the compound he just turned around and ran towards the other, still screaming her name. 

"Bellamy?" a voice asked from behind him and he excitedly turned around, but it wasn't Clarke, it was Echo. Disappointment swept through him and he ignored her and kept screaming Clarke's name. He paused to take a breath and heard one of the vendors talking to another. 

"I think the toxin's still in my system," the vendor said looking worried. 

"Why's that?" the other vendor asked, not really paying attention. 

"Because I swear I saw this blonde girl disappear into a flash of light about three hours ago." 

The breath caught in Bellamy's chest as he processed what he had just heard. Clarke was gone. 

### 

Clarke and Bell woke to the side of the door being kicked in. Without thinking they both rolled into a crouch, ready to fight whatever had just smashed through the door. They relaxed, just a little, when they realized it was just the guard that had dropped them off. 

He gave them an amused look and gestured for them to stand up. "Come on, it's time to go." 

Clarke and Bell traded a look but slowly stood up. 

"Where _exactly_ are we going?" Bell asked, suspicion in his tone. 

The guard shrugged, "Not sure exactly, but you're going to your first assignment." 

Bell opened his mouth to protest, but one thing Clarke had learned after dealing with McCreary and the Primes, it was better to just keep your head down until you were sure what you're dealing with. So, touching Bell's arm to stop his tirade before it began, she nodded and after glancing around the room one last time, followed the guard out the door. 

"I don't like this, Clarke," Bell hissed quietly to her as they trailed after the guard. 

"I don't either, but what choice do we have? We have no idea how to get home and even if we did, you heard what The General said. We'd have no chance of stopping his army. It's better to wait until we have an opening." 

"And then what?" Bell demanded, "What're we going to do then?" 

Clarke paused. She realized that she didn't really know herself. "Then we figure it out then." 

Bell looked dissatisfied but nodded all the same. 

The guard lead them to the edge of the island and pulled out some small device out of his pocket. If Clarke didn't know better she'd have said it looked like a bomb. He punched some numbers into the device and the device started rapidly beeping. Maybe it was a bomb. Clarke briefly wondered what he was about to do, when the guard bringing his arm up, hurled the device off the edge of the island and into the anomaly below. 

Clarke and Bell immediately shot forward to see what it was about to do. They watched as it fell foot after foot down below them until it was about 200 feet down and then it _exploded_. Except, explode wasn't quite the right word for it. It exploded but instead of forcing the anomaly out, it seemed to suck it in towards it in a cyclone of swirling green. In the dead center a green glow pulsed. 

"Well," the guard said after a minute. 

"Well?" Clarke asked, confusion marring her face. 

The guard gestured with his hand towards the cyclone. "Jump." 

Clarke blinked before letting out a shaky laugh. "No." 

The guard frowned and gestured again. "Jump. It'll take you to your first assignment." 

Clarke laughed. There was old phrase about friends jumping off bridges that came to mind. No way was she about to jump off a floating island. She opened her mouth to tell the guard that herself when, swinging his spear around, the guard hit her in the stomach and toppled her off the edge of the island towards the green mist below. 

Clarke screamed as she fell and from above she heard Bell shout her name before he too was pushed over the edge by the guard. Together, they fell foot after foot through empty air. Blood rushed through Clarke's ears as a whooshing sound surrounded her. She squeezed her eyes tight, knowing she was about to die, when suddenly she hit the anomaly. It was like diving into water, but softer. She felt the anomaly coat her body like oil as she kept falling. Once again she felt wind everywhere around her and when she opened her eyes she was standing on solid ground with Bell right besides her. 

They stared at each other for a long drawn out moment before, quite unceremoniously, Clarke leaned over and emptied her stomach onto the ground. 

"He could of warned us!" Clarke shouted, still doubled over. 

"Clarke?" 

"I mean, really! Who just pushes someone off an _island_?" 

"Clarke?" 

"I swear to god if I ever see him again, I'm going to punch him." 

"Clarke!" Bell finally shouted and Clarke finally looked up at him. 

He was looking pass her towards something behind her, disbelief written all over his face. 

"Is that ... is that _Raven_?" Bel asked, awe coloring his voice. 

Clarke turned around and there, standing just in front of what appeared to be Eden, was a Raven Reyes unlike any she had ever seen before.


End file.
